How To Understand The Supermom Trap?

a supermom trying to feed her son with pasta by making funny gestures while the toddler refuses to eat by turning his head in a dining restaurant

What’s it in moms’ that makes us feel we need to take on the SuperMom individuality? What makes us put on such a cape? If you speak to working moms that you understand, or even analyze your personal experiences, falling in the SuperMom trap is not uncommon.


SuperMom’s scare away the monsters under the bed, creates wonderful family meals, as she works, runs a business, or fosters a career either outside or within the home. I’ve attempted to be SuperMom, but the cape kept getting caught under the wheels of my office chair, it didn’t take long to understand that personality was not for me. I wasn’t going to fit into the sort of mother or girl “that they” believed I should be.

When I say “they”, I’m speaking about, tv, movies, the specialists, the authors, parents, relatives, friends, and the neighbor next door, there’s this exaggerated set of criteria that’s been generated that women hold themselves to, so that they place on the cape to attempt and live up to everybody’s expectations.

Take into account

Being a wife and mother are important tasks; we’re those which do not just carry sometimes the vast majority of the house and childcare duties, but also the vast majority of those “emotional labor”. The hugs of reassurance, the kisses which produce the hurts better. We’re those that cry at night after the kids go to bed since our little ones needed to learn one of life’s lessons the hard way. We are the nurturers, we maintain those small hands throughout their lives, however big they are, we always find those very small hands in our own.

No mom requires that responsibility lightly. It’s our job to provide our kids with emotional sustenance, and so we put on the cape to give our kids everything we could, and what we are. As guilt begins to overwhelm us for needing something for ourselves, we’re tempted to give in to be Supermom and leave a massive part of ourselves behind. We ignore our own needs as we were taught to give to others always and keep nothing for ourselves.

Let’s see…

We’re haunted by the images we see on TV, in films, maybe even the examples we saw in our lives of what a mother is suppose to be. These pictures have a grip on us, as a whisper in our mind that feeds on the concept of ourselves. We put the cape on and assume the function to attempt and create peace with the inner battle. Like the famous man of steel, we carry on a cover identity, one which isn’t real, since we sacrifice ourselves for mother hood and for professions.

We get lost in conference calls, paperwork, school plays and football practices. We forget about ourselves because we stay up into the morning completing work, or sewing that Halloween costume which wasn’t done even though we had been on the move nonstop all day. Therefore, we put on the cape, merely to maintain. By understanding what makes us buy into the illusion that the way to happiness is through being SuperMom, then perhaps we can begin to comprehend why we fail that we are and where we want our lives to go.

Final note

The understanding will show clarity, a hope, and a desire to reclaim ourselves, our actual selves and not only the mild manner individuality that we created. It requires a desire to reconnect with our inner selves, a willingness to depart the out dated expectations and the commitment to quit trying to fit to a unrealistic mold. You don’t need to be somebody you aren’t. Leave behind the believing life is an either or proposition. When we realize we can unite our duality back into a single, healthful individuality, then and only then can we take off the cape and let our true selves reside and discover the life we deserve.