Unquestionably, she’s your very best friend. You’ve shared everything about your life and your guy with her. She knows the specific size of his manhood, the last time you had sex together and how he rates with your previous lovers.
About trust
You trust her implicitly and profoundly, the mere idea of her betraying your trust is un-imaginable, as you know in your heart you’d never intentionally hurt her. She can borrow your favourite dress and the necklace out of the deceased grandmother, but the one thing that’s off limits is your guy. The primary difference between your very best friend and your guy is that you share your body with him and he owns a piece of your heart.
He arouses a portion of your being that no girl could ever touch. You believe in him and his words whispered ever so gently that can only be heard by you. You love them both dearly, but your very best friend and your guy loving each other is simply out of bounds. So how do you set boundaries for two things of your life that you love so much? First, realize that guys should be attracted to girls and visa versa.
Keep in mind
There are no exceptions. It’s in the essence of his character to be smitten from the shapeliness of a woman’s body, to become spellbound by her scent and magnetized by her cleavage. For many men there are inner biological and religious boundaries that suppress them from being drawn to relatives and friends. But occasionally we place too much faith in outside legislation as opposed to respecting the natural laws of human nature.
Intellectually, the majority of women understand it is treacherous to sleep with a friend’s male partner. But emotionally, a number of us don’t see our own role in contributing to this sort of betrayal. Listed below are eight tips about the best way best to set boundaries between your very best friend and your guy.
Take note
- Mothers have told us over the years that when a woman is in your home she’s following your man or your organization. There’s a place and time to get girl-talk. No girl should be at your house visiting through the work week as you’re preparing meals or spending quality time with your boyfriend or husband. Unless she’s invited to dinner with a male partner or you’re fixing her up with a man friend your house is sacred and must be respected as such. Pay attention to your own behavior with your female friends. Are family members placing their pajamas while you’re there? Yawning? Mentioning how late it is or how tired they are?
- When you’re un-escorted with a male partner you should be aware of this message you’re sending to your friend’s male partner. Is your skirt extremely short, cleavage revealing, belly out, nipples showing? Come now women, do you introduce yourself in a way that shows respect to your girlfriend? Or do you blame her male partner for not controlling himself or behaving like a”dog?” Do you bring improper conversation about sex and your male partners? What vibes are you sending out? We aren’t talking about male responsibility here, we’re talking about being aware of human nature. It’s fine to dress provocative when you and your girlfriend are with a male partners since the man energy between the two men will have balancing effect.
- Don’t invite yourself together as a third wheel in your friend’s holidays, movies, dinners or concerts with her male partner. Remember, she loves you very much, chances are she’ll say yes. Be considerate of her connection and give her the same respect and distance that you would want and need. However long the couple has been together, odds are her man isn’t excited about sharing his woman’s attention with you.
- Unless he’s calling your buddy’s home searching for you (under extreme conditions ), there ought to be mild cordial, conversation on the telephone. Your friend shouldn’t be in the center of your lover’s quarrels and spats. She’s the ace-boon-coon, your comrade not his. Period. Loyalty is quite difficult if there isn’t an underlying single schedule. Your friend knows about the cute guy who you gave your number to. The one thing she has in common with your guy is YOU. One thing leads to another, do not set yourself up for a three-way-relationship.
- Don’t believe that your man wouldn’t be attracted to your friends as you’re more attractive than they are. What makes a person attractive is extremely subjective. Mother has always said: It isn’t the woman he openly says he enjoys and compliments her look that you ought to be worried about, but the girl who he always calls unattractive and puts down is the one that you ought to be concerned about. This is his way of throwing you from his odor and denying his own attraction to her. Yes, you can trust your guy. He’s around beautiful girls all day. Just bear in mind he is a human being and a man second. You don’t need to touch fire to understand it can burn. Trust that he will honor and respect your connection, but do not be naive.
- Should you tell her if you know that her male partner is coming on to you and you’ve done nothing to solicit this sort of behavior? Follow your heart. Limit contact with her if she’s spending time with her guy. Intuitively she understands, do not become the scapegoat for her connection.
- Watch what you tell your guy about your girlfriends women. He does not need to be aware of the size of her vagina, what the guys at work say about her and some of the details of her private life. Period. Think about a few of things you have shared with your guy about your girlfriend, believing that he’ll see her as a”tramp.” This will back fire. Giving him this advice can make her more interesting and attractive. Secondly, stop sharing with your girlfriends advice about your man’s sexual technique. You’ve got to be responsible for setting boundaries, this isn’t about trust. When you tell your friends everything about the closeness between your man and yourself, you exploit the sacredness of the bond between your man and yourself. Many times our friends don’t cross our borders, we allow them in.
- If you know in your heart that you’re attracted to your friend’s male partner. Be honest with yourself and do not seek opportunities and explanations to be about him, unless you’re prepared to forfeit the friendship. If you know he is attracted to you distance yourself from him. It’s not the mere sex which makes becoming involved with a friend’s mate so heinous, it’s the loyalty, trust and love your buddy has bestowed upon you that’s shattered. When a woman shares her deepest, darkest, most intimate secrets with you, she trusts you won’t use it to usurp her guy.