I hear a great deal about turning points and defining moments in the work I do as an executive mentor: Those moments once the forces of mind and heart come together with crystal clarity and you understand what you have been doing, or have not been doing, is no longer enough.
Let’s see…
Often these moments are painful and perplexing. But, would not it be fantastic if you could achieve these “a-ha” minutes; if you can navigate these essential transitions without needing to be in crisis? What if you had some way of recognizing when you are heading to the arms of a turning point? To assist you navigate a bit more clearly, here are four crucial clues that normally accompany these defining moments.
Do you recognize any of these? Are they talking to you now? We often fear the very thing we’re meant to do. Change is scary. It’s messy. It’s unknown. If you begin to feel some discomfort when you consider doing something differently – such as setting firmer boundaries, or considering opening your own company – know that this form of fear isn’t supposed to hold you back.
Take into account
It’s there to give you a little of the “hair growing on the back of the neck” phenomenon that tells you your fearful, but also excited. How a singer feels the fear before going out on stage; how a sky diver feels the panic before she jumps from the airplane (okay – that may be the WRONG type of fear, but you get the idea). This is the fear that motivates us to change. But there is another fear. The fear which keeps us stuck. Most often, these anxieties are locked away from the conscious thought.
They drive you to act in unsatisfying, self indulgent, and restricting ways – with no awareness or consent. For one to really move forward, these fears must see the light of day, where they may be examined, questioned, debunked and left benign. Stop in your tracks and start to ask unique questions that permit the possibility that this turning point is occurring for a crucial reason and you’re supposed to address it, for the betterment of yourself and others, as hard as it might be to do so.
What to do?
Become an active participant in your life by asking yourself questions that provide you back your power: What am I supposed to learn from this? What changes do I want to make in my life? These are a strong beginning to analyzing the process of living, as opposed to simply the content of your own life. You do not get what you would like. Sometimes if we do not get the things we think we need, it is because we do not really want them. Our inner voice is whispering to us exactly what we desire and is serving us in these minutes, pushing us forward to ultimately leave our insecurities behind, and be honest about what we want our life to be. I can recall when I was up for a massive promotion after a merger happened in the non-profit organization I was working in as a consultant.
They were consolidating the land and giving the responsibility for 5 countries to a affiliate consultant. I truly wanted that job. It would mean some extra cash, but the real reason I wanted it was because of the much larger reach the place involved and a coveted place on the affiliate management team. When the job went to my counterpart I was extremely disappointed. Demoralized. I questioned my abilities and my ability. I spent plenty of time bemoaning the fact that they did not choose me, but in hindsight I realize that had I gotten this job I would not have put out on my route to becoming an entrepreneur and performing work that I truly feel passionate about.
Remember
Sometimes NOT getting what we need is exactly what we need. It may not be your present support system. Sadly, your friends, family, coworkers, bosses – everyone who surrounds you’re often too full of uncertainty, fear, and negativity to encourage you on the path of following your soul’s work. Honestly, the vast majority of people do not have any idea about the actual”chops” needed to perform soul-satisfying work. So how would they know what is possible and what is needed? They don’t! You MUST surround yourself with those who walk the talk, and who can see past fear and limitations.
Even if it’s one or two other spirit sisters or soul brothers, it is vital that you don’t attempt to do it independently. Follow your own voice, yes, but open yourself up to more than that by having like-minded men and women accompany you on your travels.