Do you know what you want? You might have trouble with this question if you are anything like me since the solution is hidden deep inside buried under a sea of items you believe you ought to do or ‘shoulds’. Over time, our dreams can become almost invisible when we allow it.
Keep in mind
What’s most important is to understand how to separate the should messages from what you truly want. If we consider it, we seldom ask for what we want. I mean what we really desire. If we’re being completely honest with ourself, at times we discover we are surrounded by obligations we will need to fulfill, or things we will need to perform for others.
On the reverse side if we were getting what we wanted we’d nevertheless help others but we would not leave ourself from the mix. Just Imagine what that would look like, we would never doubt ourselves we honored precisely what we want most in each moment. Instead we live a life based on’shoulds’ rather than wants.
Confidence
We’d be so confident and empowered. Once I began understanding precisely how to get what I wanted I had been on top of earth. Here are a number of common things we have been told we will need to do. I need to exercise more. I should find a diploma, or advanced level and eventually become a doctor, accountant, or attorney. I must stay at this work even though I’m miserable, because the money’s good and the market’s bad. I need to, I should, I must. You shouldn’t do something just because someone else chose it for you. Your life is too important to live it according to a should.
Take note
Grab a pencil and let me show you how you can get out of our shoulds to our real needs or desires.
- Begin to ask yourself if what you’re asking for is what you really want or what someone wants for you.
- Next, it is important to keep on practicing asking for what you need, whether small or big wants. For instance, some small things you can request at work are, I wish to leave early from work today, I wish to have a 90 minute lunch, I need somebody else to perform the administrative tasks. Be sure that you are giving something in return so you’re still viewed as a worker with the best interest of the firm. If you are not clear on what you would like, then your mind will be clouded with ‘shoulds’.
- List three situations or people that you need resolve in or to get what you would like. Now consider for a second from their viewpoint, and look at the larger picture. If a person is demanding something that feels unfair is this because they are naturally this way and they want this task done simply for their own has to be fulfilled. Or are they becoming pressue from someone or someplace that makes them push you harder?
- Jot down the reasons you may see and the surrounding conditions, then use this information next time you encounter the circumstance, allow the man or group know that you know where they are coming from and why they have made this unfair demand on you.
- Tell them while you love this, things will need to change for your health, so you are here to provide them a compromise. Ask open ended questions that require more than just one or two word response.
- Be certain that you have exactly what you want outlined, be sure that the request isn’t too one sided. If they’re reluctant to conclude with you, ask them to put himself in your shoes. Ask them to help you think of an answer that the two of you’re pleased with.