The feminine principle was suppressed for millennia. Recently, we also have learnt to suppress the manly and relate in a secure, neutral manner. Relating in a neutral manner is expedient for each of us at times, but a portion of the richness of life and chance of the moment, is for us to develop a broader spectrum of choices and strengths, and dance more freely with others, especially in romantic relationships.
What to do?
To dance we need to be ready to be and express something apart from neutral. In doing this, we assist others express more of these. Specifically, when we’re more womanly, we leave space for others to become more manly.
- Please ourselves – Women are conditioned for centuries to get and keep a man. In these enlightened, free times, studies reveal that women that aren’t in relationship are less confident in their appearance than women that are in relationships. This female obsessions with being desired, loved, attractive and in connection can get in our way. When we are female for our own sakes, we don’t feed these obsessions or try to manipulate others, which is something women learn to do if they don’t have any direct access to electricity. When we pay attention to the way we feel, rather than to the response of additional, we have our own power and are authentic.
- Explore, experiment, create, say – To ourselves, we have each to explore what being female means to us and what helps us to feel feminine, and to love and express the many distinct facets of our femininity.
- Reclaim choice – To alter deeply entrenched habits, we will need to be conscious of our liking for what’s comfortable and, hence, comfortable. For a lot of us, that includes responding in a neutral or masculine way. Only when we know of doing this, do we have real option.
- Connect and flow with life – The energy of the female comes from linking and co-operating. This is normally regarded as co-operating with other people but it may also apply to flowing with life and change. The female, that is associated with intuition and feelings, is nicely positioned to do this, provided we have our feelings instead of resist them or dump them.
- Connect with other people (in an isolating culture) – The female is associated with and, to some degree, discovered through, link and co-operation with other people. Now that we’re all so busy and a lot of us are somewhat isolated, this may be challenging. A resource that’s useful for this and for learning to flow with life is improvisation, in dancing and in theatrical games. Be aware of humor or theatrical improvisation, Action Theatre, Five rhythms, The Wave, contact improvisation, Biodanza.
- Connect with our bodies While the masculine includes a narrow, mental focus, the female has a wider view which includes our bodies, sensuality, feelings, hearts and all life. There are several types of movement that are helpful for connecting with our own bodies. Some of them, such as sacred dancing and movement, also help us to join in other levels. Look out for belly dance, which connects us with our own bodies, sensuality and femininity. The emphasis isn’t on body form but on using and appreciating what we have.Having said that, dance in front of huge mirrors can be hard but fulfilling that challenge helps us get over our obsession with having’perfect’ bodies come to terms with what we really look like, which is very liberating.
- There’s also growing movement of dance that fuses the dancing of different customs. This is particularly helpful for experiencing various aspects of the female (such as the proud, earthiness of tribal dancing; fiery flamenco, softer Indian dancing ). Look out for tribal fusion or ATS classes.
- Open – The more we occupy our bodies, the more we start, which allows us to feel more feminine. One component of this is sharing ourselves. In 2007, a study demonstrated that, contrary to popular myths, guys talk as much as girls. It does appear to be true that women talk more about people nevertheless. This can descend to gossip, or we can help other people to share themselves and connect with others in a fuller, deeper and more meaningful way.
- Praise -“The female grows through compliments” David Deida. In accordance with Deida, the manly develops through challenge and the female through praise, at least in part because praise helps us to start. Deida does not yet, tell us how to meet the challenge (in the UK, at least) of becoming compliments! The best answer I’ve come up with is to praise myself openly and frequently, and to detect signs of acceptance from the answers of others (like being more open with me, giving me their time, focus or a grin ).
- Take care of your self – When we are nurtured and’loved up’, we’re softer, more feminine and open. The feminine is the terrific nurturer, so lets love and pamper ourselves. This includes choosing the company we keep with care and ensuring we always have the support we need. When we take care of ourselves we can keep our hearts open.
- Clothes, hair and energy – I was tempted to call this section’look’ but there’s far more to it than that. Clothes, fabrics, colors and even fashions, all have an energy and influence how we feel (confident, happy, hot, attractive etc.). Frequently, it’s this feeling that brings people’s attention, instead of the outward shift, which brings us back to ourselves.
- Love, relationships and heart wisdom – Despite the female obsession with love and romantic relationships, most divorces are initiated by women. The love, intimacy and deeper heart felt relations we long for are only possible when we drop down into our hearts and risk keeping our hearts open. When we do so, those around us naturally fall down in their own hearts, and open more, deepening their relationship with their heart’s wisdom, their surroundings and with us. This is the present of the female, a gift that the world sorely needs.